Making Workplaces Work Better

Six Keys to Handling Resistance

By Daniel Robin

Key #0. When possible, prevent it: maintain rapport

However, when something happens outside your control (for example, the other person imagines that you want something that they absolutely hate), these keys will help keep the conversation open so you can get to the bottom line:

Key #1. Notice and acknowledge it; clarify intentions

"How about if we stay in this conversation long enough to reach an agreement...?"

Key #2. Don’t take it personally; be non-defensive

Investigate & learn about it; be curious & interested:

"I’m curious to know ..." "I’m not sure if ..."

"I wonder if ..." "I don’t know if ..." "I need your help ..."

Key #3. Dance with it; move with it; side with it

"So, if I were in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t want that either ..."

"I can see why you see it that way ..."

Key #4. Separate the person from the issue; be tough on the issue but respectful toward the person

Key #5. Ask what would help; be empathetic and share honest feelings

"I feel X when you Y because Z ..." "What can we do about this?"

Use Resistance Reducer phrases (refer to our courses materials)

To maintain an open channel of communication with another person is to align with them, match them, meet them where they are. This is vitally important when you don't happen to agree about something, and our courses provide tools to help send a message that means you respect their point of view (even and especially if you don't happen to agree with them), that you are open and willing to accept their point of view and you let them know you’re there with them.

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