Category Archives: Agreements

Sailing the Seven C’s of Collaborative Business Relationships

By Daniel Robin

To some folks, the phrase “business relationships” is effectively an oxymoron. The more pressure to perform, the more likely there’ll be a bump in the road to collaboration that sends things flying out of control. Hopefully the “bump” isn’t the tip of an iceberg, but just a bit of rough water that will soon pass. Collaboration at work isn’t required, it’s just a lot more satisfying and fun when it works out that way.

These Seven C’s provide a platform for building a culture where teamwork thrives, people are happy and productive doing their best work ever, and can remain resilient in the face of these constantly-churning whitewaters.

The first three C’s are about you – how skillful you are in handling your business relationships; the remaining four factors are key to having successful agreements – where agreements provide the safety net that makes workplaces work. These seven C’s work together as a system of cooperation, continuous growth and performance improvement.

  1. Courage – You have the nerve to say what must be said, and you temper it with consideration for the listener (the next principle), so the communication remains two-way. You show integrity when you assert what you know, and by daring to admit what you don’t know. “Integrity” implies knowing if your communication is based in objective fact, your opinion (an interpretation of those facts), or a blending of both. Sometimes it takes courage to let silence speak on your behalf. Inquiry: Where might you want to step up and be more courageous in your business dealings?
  2. Consideration – As a sign of respect, you take into account the other person’s needs and wants, their present situation, and you “step into their shoes” (better yet, dance in them) – without losing focus on the goals at hand. Paradoxically, the more considerate you are, the more tough-minded and courageous you can be without breaking rapport. Considerate also means listening so carefully that you can make requests and offers in ways that fit for the other person. How often do you let in the other person’s agenda before pursuing your own?
  3. Consistency – Do you treat everyone the same? (“Sure, I treat everyone like dirt.”) No, I mean are you consistent, not arbitrary or biased, in your business relations? Do you operate out of a set of core values and principles (perhaps including these 7 C’s?) or are you subject to whims? Consistency is the basis for being seen as reliable, dependable, trustworthy. When you can predict what someone will do, it engenders “trust” (even if you don’t like their behavior). As a professional, do you put the company’s interests ahead of personalities and egos? When mistakes are made, do you focus on learning, on closing the gap between principles and practice?

Four Pillars of Agreements Business is about forwarding the action and getting results. In order to uphold and apply the first three principles, the following four conditions must be met. If any of these four factors miss the mark, chances are good that the agreement will go nowhere.

  1. Clarity – You and colleagues are clear about what needs to be done – the goal is explicit and you have acknowledged the complete set of “conditions of satisfaction” (“Oh, you want it this Friday?”). There are five elements to a complete request … make sure the other person knows and can verify what they are agreeing to. See The Art and Practice of Agreement for details.
  2. Capacity – This is about one’s “bandwidth,” real-world ability to see it through to completion, to stay focused over time, to clear the path. If one’s plate is so full that the new agreement won’t fit, the capacity to get the job done is low. Self-talk: “This fits for me.”
  3. Competence: Having the skills and experience to carry out the request properly, and managing your resources so that you can honor all your agreements. This includes renegotiating the minute you notice an agreement that’s likely to run aground. Competence also means making request of others to get help, and only making agreements with those who are competent to carry out the request.
  4. Commitment – A solid “yes” that represents unwavering alignment to give one’s best effort. Your self-talk might be: “My word is my bond.” Skillfully check for any unacknowledged resistance or concerns. Surface the downsides to enjoy the upsides.  If you’re not able to gain a commitment (or you are not willing), find out what other commitments are in the way.  “If not this, what are you committed to?  How can we work it out so that both get the investment of time and attention they each deserve?”

Apply What You Know, Set Sail, and Go! And if you were to rate yourself on each of these Seven C’s, which are most solid –established strengths – and which one leaves you all wet? Pick one to ponder during the coming weeks, and you’ll find that heightened attention to navigating those difficult waters makes for smoother sailing on the seas of business relationships. What’s the foundational relationship skill?  Read Rapport: The Link to Gaining Cooperation to find out. What are the specific behaviors of collaboration?  Request Collaborate to Accelerate:  The Five Behaviors of Collaborative Leadership to learn more.

Initiating and Sustaining Change at Work: Part 2

Interpersonal Strategies for Leading Transitions

By Daniel Robin

Part 1 in this series focused on how change affects us personally, and what can be done to make the most of it. This article highlights interpersonal strategies for handling all forms of transitions — from minuscule to life-bending.  Part 3 delves into organizational strategies for leading change.

Change Ain’t What It Used to Be

Have you noticed that we live in obnoxiously turbulent times? Our most familiar navigational equipment only works when we have time to figure out where we are now. We need a new compass!

Corporate restructuring has made job security an oxymoron, and a search for meaning and value — no longer just a way to “earn a living” — raising the bar on job satisfaction.

Transitions can serve as a focal point to improve morale, increase commitment, and gain mutual understanding to “make sense” out of much confusion. However, in practice, when left “out of the loop” people tend to hallucinate the worst, stress out, and totally miss the potential benefits. (The next article in this series describes ways to include and involve people that help nip this needless suffering in the bud.)

Change = Danger + Opportunity

Upon hearing news of change, how do people react? A trick is to accept that there will be a wide range of reactions, some positive, some negative, based more on perception and emotion than on anything that actually makes sense. There are no formulas!

When we guide people to accept and embrace their unique reaction — everything from anger and resistance, sorrow and grief … to relief, abundant energy and enthusiasm — we are performing a powerful and valuable service to others. By giving room to tell the truth, we also bring people into alignment with the change effort itself while giving them no easy target to push up against.

If you work with humans, chances are good they’ll need to vent or blow off any gritty feelings — the “blame frame” — an essential and often misunderstood part of every transition. For instance, if someone temporarily goes into resistance and anger, that doesn’t mean they’re picking a fight. Or that they’re just being difficult. It probably means they are experiencing some sense of fear or loss or both and this is their (uniquely human) way of working through it.

“… Stay Seated Until the Plane Returns to Its Original Upright Position”

Like emergency landing instructions on an airplane, first take care of your own oxymoron (I mean, oxygen mask), then assist others. If you initially help yourself in moving through change as rapidly as you can, you free up your personal resources and energy, and in so doing make yourself available to help free up theirs.

Here are three moves that also happen to take the sting out of change when communicating with others. They are: (1) Acceptance, (2) Understanding, and (3) Agreement. Here’s how it works: First with yourself, then by encouraging others to …

(1) accept the change at face value. Don’t evaluate or argue about it. Not now. Let go of any tendency to “make it all better” for them, to give advice, or to “should” on a person’s reaction. Instead, be a model of acceptance. Lightly and unconditionally notice or document the known facts about what will be different. Give them room to have their reaction, perhaps mirror or amplify it, then …

(2) actively understand what in heaven’s name the change means. This phase could take awhile. Brainstorm several possible interpretations to “what could it mean?” before selecting one. Verify that you have mutual understanding, then begin to look, listen, and  …

(3) lead toward an agreement, based on your thorough understanding of how the change will affect you, others, and the organization. This third step may involve some negotiation or fine-tuning of existing agreements. If you get disagreement, focus on accepting and understanding the resistance

If there’s no room to negotiate or discuss it, at least you can come to an agreement with yourself (“Okay, I’m going to begin leaving the office at a reasonable hour.” or “I’m going to make this project work miracles within 6 months.”)

Change is Good … But It Sure Ain’t Easy

In case this all sounds easy, let me acknowledge, with all due respect, that change is definitely not easy. These three moves give you and others something constructive to focus on while emotions are still running their course. If you employ the accept-understand-agree strategy, you and others will move through the transition with minimal frustration and maximum benefit.

The Art and Practice of Agreement

By Daniel Robin

This article takes a deeper look at how having clear and complete agreements often spells out the difference between success and suffering.

How in the world can we build a workplace based on well-considered agreements when …

Co-workers, employees, and customers quickly knee-jerk into “Yes” or “No” responses — before they even know what’s being asked!

Everybody, including you and I, already has way too much going on.

Some people’s “yes” doesn’t mean much (they break their promises hoping nobody will notice), and if you call them on it, they get immediately defensive.

The Practice of Making Agreements Stick

In our culture, requests are quite often indirect. “I was hoping you could think about the possibility of maybe someday considering …” I’ve found that if I just ask “What is your request?” we both save lots of time and energy. Most people will appreciate increased directness with the “what” — the goal or reason for asking — when you demonstrate a willingness to be flexible in “how” it will be accomplished.

How do you now make requests? Think about a request you recently made and jot it down verbatim, noticing which of these elements were actually present:

Five Element of a Complete Request

(1) Who is doing the asking,

(2) Listener who is being asked,

(3) Action — what’s the desired future result?

(4) Conditions of Satisfaction — how will you know if it has been done properly?

(5) Timing — by when?

All five elements must be understood by the listener, or you may well be asking for … trouble. When it matters, I double-check with “Will you tell me your understanding; I want to make sure I explained it right.”

Responses To Requests

The requestor checks for one of four specific responses, listed below, and doesn’t accept ambiguous responses like “I’ll try”, “Maybe … I’ll think about it.” or “I guess I could do that.” Instead, a response is either a

Promise — A statement that says, in essence, “Yes, I will do that.”

Decline — “No, that doesn’t work for me.” Also means “Count on me NOT to do that… ”

Counteroffer — “No, I won’t do that, but here’s what I will do…” which opens up a negotiation.

Commit to commit — Meaning “I don’t know yet, but I’ll get back to you by noon Tuesday.”

Note that commit to commit must include the “by when” or you really don’t have a commitment to anything. If they don’t know when they’ll know, ask for a counteroffer, ask what they need to decide, or ask someone else.

If they say “yes” ignoring their concerns and resistance (or worse, if you ignore it), that will prevent you from being able to fine-tune your request, or keep you from asking the right person. Draw out concerns, what’s at risk, potential obstacles … then get a clear commitment one way or the other. Each response forwards the action in some way, and looking for one (and only one) of these will clear up ambiguity and prevent assumptions.

Taking the Pulse: Renegotiation

How often do you say and do the same thing? How do you currently handle it when you’re not able to keep an agreement?

If we’re suffering from having said “yes” to too much (or “no” to too little), we’d be wise to renegotiate the agreements that are currently causing the overload.

When a reasonable agreement is already in place and difficulty arises, imagine how much misery could be prevented if the promise were renegotiated in a timely way, while there is still time (hopefully) to do something about it.

Build it to Last

If we take time up front to carefully consider responses to requests it saves tremendous time and trouble later. With practice, we can learn to make clearer, more complete requests of others, and verify their understanding, thereby building commitments that last.

People will probably squirm like crazy when you start making more direct requests. That’s okay; you might mention that you’re trying something new and would like them to experiment with it. Sometimes discomfort is a necessary step toward better results and relationships.

Building a Workplace Culture Based on Agreement

How to Get There From Here

By Daniel Robin

“Starting today, I promise to be on time for every meeting, no matter what. Really. This time I mean it.” How healthy this sounds, they all thought. Finally … embracing what they’ve been wanting for months. Perhaps it’s time.

Why New Year’s Resolutions (Usually) Don’t Work

A resolution is a decision. A decision on an intention: “I’m definitely going to do that … [unstated subtext] … if I feel like it.” If you simply hold a clear intention, will you get results? Eventually. Resolutions, like goals, serve an important purpose: they help us accept and acknowledge what we don’t yet have. As you know, however, fulfillment of an intention depends on self-knowledge and commitment to effective action.

Why self-knowledge? Because you can be 100% committed, but still not know your strengths and limits — this is the knowledge that will help or hinder you in getting the desired result.

Getting to Change

Some people like to plan out every detail. Others prefer to rely on their intuition. Both approaches are viable for producing change and results. Ever get to work with somebody whose style is the opposite of yours? How did it go? Chances are, if you got anything done together, it was because of a clear agreement, whether explicit or not.

A culture based on agreement is a marvel to watch. People who hate being in the room together unite in a common purpose.

Through the Lens of Agreement

All relationships and results come from some sort of an agreement. Consider your work. What are some of the decisions that have contributed to your success? Likewise, if you’re not consistently getting your desired outcome, check these scenarios to see which one might apply:

(a) False agreement. You’ve laid out a clear, appropriate agreement, but there’s no buy-in or results. This isn’t the same as a disagreement or conflict; a false agreement (like many New Year’s resolutions) looks, sounds, smells … like a plan; but, in this case, chances are good you’ll get the opposite of what’s wanted. Find out why.

(b) Inappropriate agreement. You are operating out of a clear yet inappropriate contract, one you’d be wise to renegotiate. For instance, you and a coworker agreed to write a report that will need your input, but there won’t be time to collaborate. Regroup!

(c) Unclear or incomplete agreement. This scenario is most common. You can tell because living with it produces failures of trust and suffering. For instance, “I think I can get us a better vendor; cancel that order.” Or, “Sure, I’ll hang out here 40+ hours per week for that amount of money, but I sure as hell am not going to work with that maniac!”

Agreements between co-workers, departments, or with that last example, between you and the entire organization, reflect the choices and decisions of the people who make them. The question is: how well informed are those choices and decisions? This is where it pays to accept, understand and include the person who gets to uphold the decision.

Who Decides? Who Can Be Trusted?

When it comes to agreements, who is trustworthy and who isn’t? This notion of “trust” has lots to do with being able to predict the other person’s behavior. You can trust a person to screw up some things just as reliably as they’ll flawlessly perform others. No matter how clear and complete your request, if that person cannot uphold it, save it — ask someone else!

This applies to ourselves. I won’t “set myself up” with an agreement I cannot honor. Similarly, don’t enter into an agreement with someone who isn’t able to come through.

If that person is holding back, careless, or playing a game, establish an agreement that has them demonstrating to you what they do best. True colors will be revealed. Workplace decisions that reflect genuine, mutual interest will last. When they don’t, they won’t. Trust that.

The Culture is the Product

To build a healthy workplace and a company that will last, focus on building an organization you personally would want to work for. (Was it Groucho who said he’d never want to work for a company that would have him as one of its employees?)

It all starts with a clear, mutually-beneficial agreement. Hewlett-Packard grants immense operating freedom within well-defined objectives. People earn this permission as a privilege. Going for a clear, unambiguous agreement will provide the platform for freedom.

A workplace based on agreement is easy to espouse … and in practice? Refer to the next article, “The Art and Practice of Agreement.”

Organizational Pathways: Part 2

Resources for Keeping the Peace

The Art of Alternative Dispute Resolution

by Daniel Robin

How can you live in peace and still live in the world? In our litigious society, success can be defined as not having to sue anybody.

Conflicts are inevitable, and often act as a mirror of our own lives and attitudes. Using the appropriate tool to address an issue helps us keep differences from escalating into problems. The methods described here are to help you understand your options so you can make informed choices.

Negotiation

Direct negotiations happen all the time. As a form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR), win-win negotiation involves listening to the interests of the other party in order to make proposals or suggestions they are likely to accept. (Adversarial negotiation is where each party gets whatever they can, even and especially if it’s at the other party’s expense. )

In situations that have become difficult or emotional, the presence of a “third-party neutral” can help facilitate and ensure a healthy dialogue so that participants focus on what caused the dispute and how it might be resolved, rather than on the assignment of fault and blame. Here the facilitator is less involved than in other forms of ADR, such as mediation or arbitration.

Direct negotiation is inappropriate when there are power differences that could result in the weaker party “losing” without fair consideration of the merits of their case.

Mediation

Mediation is a more structured process in which the mediator assists the participants to reach a negotiated settlement of their differences. Participant get together to talk and exchange ideas, feelings, experiences, and information on the issue, then try to come to new understandings in order to reach agreements that will satisfy everyone’s interests.

The key role and responsibility of the mediator is to generate and organize options and alternatives, and in many cases, to assist in designing an implementation plan.

The mediator will use various techniques such as active listening, enforcing agreed-upon ground rules, asking for clarification, restatement of concerns of goals, and so on; however, the mediator does not have the authority to render a decision. In cases not strictly about money, or when there’s an ongoing relationship, mediation offers a positive alternative to the court system.

Arbitration

Arbitration is where parties agree to allow a third-party to resolve the matter after a “hearing” in which each side presents evidence and arguments. Here the third party acts as a judge and imposes a decision. The focus is on rights and then wants; whereas mediation is attuned to needs and interests.

In “binding” arbitration, the decision cannot be appealed (except in cases of fraud, corruption or a defective process). In voluntary or non-binding arbitration, the decision is like a recommended remedy — indicating how a judge might decide on the case.

Arbitration is more adversarial than mediation, though it does allow the parties to select the decision-maker(s), set ground rules, and pick the time and place. Beware the tendency to “split the baby” in trying to give something to all parties. When the discovery period isn’t sufficient to obtain information to support the case, or if a jury trial is preferable, arbitration isn’t appropriate.

As every situation involves a unique set of personalities and circumstances, you might want to consult with a trained professional. When selecting a third-party neutral, rather than a particular credential or degree, look for experience and references that relate to your particular situation.

Resources

We are fortunate to have several outstanding resources to assist with resolving most disputes. Here’s a sampling:

Conflict Resolution Centers (CRC) throughout America help individuals handle many types of community disputes, including neighbors, landlord/tenant, housemates, families, workplaces, etc., and offers a sliding fee scale. CRC in Santa Cruz County, CA also staffs a Small Claims Court Mediation Program. Check the phone book for the number of the community CRC in your area.

Organizational Pathways: Part 1

Waging Peace in the Workplace

By Daniel Robin

With the increase in work force diversity, emphasis on teams, and the new-world-disorder — also known as chaos — sooner or later, we all get into conflicts that just don’t resolve, even with a Ph.D. in active listening mode. Calmly sitting down to “talk about it” can be frustrating when there are hidden agendas, turf wars, or fear patterns in the culture and in the people involved.

So what if you give it your best shot and nothing comes of it? A willingness to deal with an issue — even if the effort is clumsy at first — is far better than the insidious patterns of avoidance, denial, passive-aggressive indirectness, plotting how to get even….

In the gap between theory (what we know) and practice (what we do) lives an astounding fact: our culture has developed remarkable tools and technologies for handling virtually any type of dispute; however, the ones that work are seldom used, and the ones that are used seldom work.

Finding Alternatives

I’m surprised how few people have even heard of “alternative dispute resolution” (ADR). Here’s a quick quiz:

What is arbitration and when would you use it?

Under what circumstances should you use a “third-party neutral” (hint: before you begin to unravel emotionally) and

When is it best to handle a situation yourself?

What does mediation have in common with arbitration? What are the differences?

If you know the answers to these questions, you probably practice ADR for a living. Unfortunately, our schools are only just now providing this practical information – so vital to success in today’s workplace.

It is simply not true that the only way to deal with conflict is to provoke more of it. Even in the most difficult situations, the other person isn’t necessarily our adversary. Our congested court system is hardly a place to bring important, emotionally-charged issues — business-related or not. And yet, despite the uncertainty that goes along with giving up control, power and major dollars to someone else to work out a legal “remedy” (notice it’s not called a solution), we still rank as the most sue-happy culture in the world.

How ADR Applies to the Workplace

What makes the workplace unique and challenging is that most relationships can be strengthened through collaboration, and yet, few people seize this opportunity. Perhaps it’s just too darn risky and uncomfortable to surf the chaos of including other views and perspectives before deciding what to do with them. It certainly seems faster and easier to reduce options to a tidy twosome (“my way or … “), then you can pick the least lousy alternative. The phrase “What are some other options?” can work wonders.

It takes careful and confident facilitation — and sometimes it takes not being in the middle of the issue — to broaden the focus just enough to generate and explore options without getting derailed. The facilitator needs the flexibility to move with the other person or group, the focus to keep working toward goals, and the smoothness not to interfere with communication in the process.

California is ripe with caring professionals who would like nothing better than to have everyone live in peace and harmony. And yet [Excuse me while I yell at my cat. Now, where was I?], we cannot drift too far from getting business results, or we’ll have no workplace to be peaceful in.

Above all, workplaces need to be fun. Wage peace and we’ll enjoy the dividends of a wage increase with profit for all.

Four Pillars of Agreements

In order for people to honor agreements in ways that get the desired result, the following four conditions must be met. If any one of these factors miss the mark, chances are good that something will go wrong.

Clarity: clear about the goal and the complete set of “conditions of satisfaction” (values, criteria, expectations)

Commitment: Solid “yes” representing unwavering alignment to give one’s best effort. No unacknowledged resistance. Self-talk: “My word is my bond.”

Capacity: This is about one’s “bandwidth,” real-world ability to see it through to completion, to stay focused over time, to clear the path. If one’s plate is so full that the new agreement won’t fit, the capacity to get the job done is low. Self-talk: “This fits for me.”

Competence: Willingness to be accountable and follow through; accepts full responsibility and provides evidence through “how will I/we know?”

The following articles provide further background on building a organization where people are productive, do their best work, and are resilient in the face of change.

Building a Workplace Based on Agreements

Successful workplace cultures are based on agreements. Here’s some suggestions on how to get “from here to there.”

The Art and Practice of Agreement

How to build a workplace based on clear and complete, voluntary agreements

The Art and Practice of Agreement

By Daniel Robin

This article takes a deeper look at how having clear and complete agreements often spells out the difference between success and suffering.

How in the world can we build a workplace based on well-considered agreements when …

Co-workers, employees, and customers quickly knee-jerk into “Yes” or “No” responses — before they even know what’s being asked!

Everybody, including you and I, already has way too much going on.

Some people’s “yes” doesn’t mean much (they break their promises hoping nobody will notice), and if you call them on it, they get immediately defensive.

The Practice of Making Agreements Stick

In our culture, requests are quite often indirect. “I was hoping you could think about the possibility of maybe someday considering …” I’ve found that if I just ask “What is your request?” we both save lots of time and energy. Most people will appreciate increased directness with the “what” — the goal or reason for asking — when you demonstrate a willingness to be flexible in “how” it will be accomplished.

How do you now make requests? Think about a request you recently made and jot it down verbatim, noticing which of these elements were actually present:

Five Element of a Complete Request

(1) Who is doing the asking,

(2) Listener who is being asked,

(3) Action — what’s the desired future result?

(4) Conditions of Satisfaction — how will you know if it has been done properly?

(5) Timing — by when?

All five elements must be understood by the listener, or you may well be asking for … trouble. When it matters, I double-check with “Will you tell me your understanding; I want to make sure I explained it right.”

Responses To Requests

The requestor checks for one of four specific responses, listed below, and doesn’t accept ambiguous responses like “I’ll try”, “Maybe … I’ll think about it.” or “I guess I could do that.” Instead, a response is either a

Promise — A statement that says, in essence, “Yes, I will do that.”

Decline — “No, that doesn’t work for me.” Also means “Count on me NOT to do that… ”

Counteroffer — “No, I won’t do that, but here’s what I will do…” which opens up a negotiation.

Commit to commit — Meaning “I don’t know yet, but I’ll get back to you by noon Tuesday.”

Note that commit to commit must include the “by when” or you really don’t have a commitment to anything. If they don’t know when they’ll know, ask for a counteroffer, ask what they need to decide, or ask someone else.

If they say “yes” ignoring their concerns and resistance (or worse, if you ignore it), that will prevent you from being able to fine-tune your request, or keep you from asking the right person. Draw out concerns, what’s at risk, potential obstacles … then get a clear commitment one way or the other. Each response forwards the action in some way, and looking for one (and only one) of these will clear up ambiguity and prevent assumptions.

Taking the Pulse: Renegotiation

How often do you say and do the same thing? How do you currently handle it when you’re not able to keep an agreement?

If we’re suffering from having said “yes” to too much (or “no” to too little), we’d be wise to renegotiate the agreements that are currently causing the overload.

When a reasonable agreement is already in place and difficulty arises, imagine how much misery could be prevented if the promise were renegotiated in a timely way, while there is still time (hopefully) to do something about it.

Build it to Last

If we take time up front to carefully consider responses to requests it saves tremendous time and trouble later. With practice, we can learn to make clearer, more complete requests of others, and verify their understanding, thereby building commitments that last.

People will probably squirm like crazy when you start making more direct requests. That’s okay; you might mention that you’re trying something new and would like them to experiment with it. Sometimes discomfort is a necessary step toward better results and relationships.

Healthy Boundaries Self-assessment

(c) 2017 Daniel Robin & Associates

The purpose of this page is to help you collect information about yourself so you can increase your self-awareness and formulate an action plan.  Use these topics and question to journal, reflect and get clearer about what you want.  We also offer coaching services to assist with this process.

Which of these core skills deserve future attention for setting healthy boundaries?

1.     Know your limits – know what you want 

    • Do you now have a comprehensive set of written near-term and long-term goals?
    • Do you know how much you can handle?
    • Do your weeks get crammed full of more than you can possibly do? Get clear on your limits (and celebrate whatever you do actually accomplish) or you will get systematically frustrated and discouraged with how much is always left over.
      [ If you feel so inspired, journal on this topic ]

2.  Tactfully and openly communicate goals and limits 

  • To whom? About what, specifically? When, ideally?
  • How can you convey to others what’s “in” and what’s not on your priorities list right now?
    [ journal ]

3.  Be available to discuss differences and get to agreements

    • What would help you successfully negotiate some healthy, realistic agreements?
      [ journal ]

Return to Healthy Boundaries article series:  Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3